Day 18 - Most difficult thing to forgive

April challenge
Day 18 - What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

Hmmm, I don't really know for this one. I think for the most part I can work through forgiveness without too much difficulty. I can't think of any really long-lasting grudges or unforgiving times that I've had. But there is one that I'm still working through.

Last year I worked with ADRA in Tanzania. Although it was a great year in many ways, the work part of my time there was rather lacking in solid guidance, general focus, and for the most part I had very, very little to keep me occupied. In a way, I kind of feel like I wasted my 8 months in Tanzania and didn't really learn much, at least job/writing-wise. That's a little hard to digest still because I was so excited about working and writing with ADRA when I finally was chosen and approved for the position. All that enthusiasm quickly vanished a few weeks or maybe a month after I got there. And I feel like the only redeeming part of the year was meeting so many amazing fellow volunteers and giving my heart totally and completely to the babies at the on-site orphanage. Without those two things, though, it would have been a really disheartening year, and even much harder than it already was being so far away from Jonathan for so long, especially leading up to our marriage. But God knows what He was doing and I'll just have to accept that He had a plan for my year in Tanzania. I hope someday He'll let me know what His plan was.