Help needed!

My dear creative writing friends,
Your help is desperately needed. Jonathan and I have written out our dating and engagement stories to put on our wedding website. But we need your skills and expertise to edit them down (especially the 715-word dating story) or reword confusing spots. We've tried and we've done a lot, but now we need help. I think we're too close to the stories and are tempted to tell too many details that readers may not actually be interested in. So if any of you have the time or kindheartedness to read these stories over and give us feedback, we would greatly appreciate it!

Ali and Jonathan met when a mutual friend, Timothy, introduced them at Southern Adventist University in the fall of 2007. But, in the following months the only time they saw each other was across the orchestra rehearsal room, since Ali played violin and Jonathan played bass. When the orchestra toured to Europe for spring break in 2008, Ali and Jonathan hung out a little on the bus, playing group games together, but still didn’t really get to know each other. Ali did leave Europe thinking Jonathan was “interesting.”
The next school year, both Ali and Jonathan lived in university-owned apartments, and since Jonathan’s roommate, Tim, was good friends with the Quiring siblings, Ali frequently visited their apartment to hang out, cook and talk. 

During that fall, as they spent time together, Ali started to really like Jonathan, although he was happy just being good friends. When Jonathan realized Ali had started liking him he decided to have a talk about it with her. From his perspective, she took the news rather calmly, making him wonder if he had only imagined that she liked him. With the talk behind them, Ali and Jonathan remained friends and continued spending time together, much the same as earlier. Before going home for the summer, Jonathan and his roommates found an apartment to rent for the next year and Ali and her sister Bryn managed to find their own apartment nearby, about a two-minute drive Jonathan’s, a rather convenient distance for hanging out the next school year. They chatted off and on during the summer, Ali wishing it would be more, Jonathan not really minding either way. 

In the fall of 2009 Ali and Jonathan continued spending a lot of time together. As the weeks went by, and Jonathan spent more time with Ali, he started realizing that he really had a great time whenever he was with her, and started wondering if he might like her after all. Other people started wondering the same thing, especially Ali's sister and brother and Tim. Jonathan finally started realizing that he liked Ali quite a bit now, and started thinking about looking for a good time and place to ask her out. However, some time went by before a good opportunity arose. 

One evening a couple weeks later Ali discovered there would be a meteor shower that night, and the best time to view it would be early morning. She mentioned it to Jonathan, who immediately jumped at the chance and suggested they wake up early to watch the shower together. The next morning Jonathan picked up Ali at her apartment and they drove to a field on campus that was far from any lights. As they were walking there, Jonathan asked Ali if she remembered their conversation about just being friends from the year before. She said yes, so Jonathan said, a bit tentatively, that he was thinking he’d like to start being more than just friends. Ali said the idea sounded great to her, and they continued their discussion as they arrived at the field. Then, as they concentrated on looking for falling stars, the conversation ceased before Jonathan actually asked Ali to be his girlfriend. 

Later that morning, while saying goodbye to her siblings before leaving on mid-term break, Ali's brother, Tyler, said to her, "While you're gone over break, please get something started with Jonathan. You two better be dating by the time you get back here!" Ali - unsure of her official status with Jonathan - grinned but kept quiet about the early morning star-gazing date. That afternoon Ali, Jonathan and four friends headed north to spend fall break at Tim’s brother’s house in Virginia. Jonathan was quite happy with the knowledge that Ali was now his girlfriend, while Ali patiently waited to be officially asked. Despite this misunderstanding, the break was enjoyable (aside from a bit of blood being spilled and one member of the group having a short fainting spell [for more details, ask Timothy]). The evening they returned from break, when the subject of dating came up, Ali let Jonathan know she was unsure whether they were officially dating yet. The next afternoon, Jonathan stopped by Ali’s apartment and asked her if she would be his girlfriend. She happily said “Yes!”